New Congress Challenged To Grow A Spine In Public

The latest Gallup poll, taken in the final days of the lame-duck session, showed that the approval rating of Congress hit an all-time low of 13 percent. Is there any profession anywhere in more disrepute?

Well, there is always grave robbing to consider as an alternate career. The true story is this.

It's spine-growing time again in downtown D.C.

Then there is the timely occupation of killing ants with a ball peen hammer. I'm not sure they have a name for that one.

But, wait, if that doesn't suit you, would you consider a position in the hammer repair department.

What? That would make you Thor?

Me, too, but, hey, a speech impediment is not an insurmountable handicap, not by a long shot. We have a rehabilitation service that just oozes professionalism.

Stop me before I hurt myself.

- The Legendary