Cap, cut and balance? Midnight in Cut and Shoot, Texas

And now for a Dr. Demento Classic from Loudon Wainwright, III

Cut and Shoot – We fired up the Bluesmobile last night for a quick run down the piney woods to consult with our old friend, Petro-Tex on this Gang of Six thing.

In a far-ranging conversation – most of which is unprintable – this is what this little-known pundit had to say about the situation.

The Legendary – Tex, what's the deal on this thing of ol' Nancy Pelosi suddenly reappearing on the scene?

Petro-Tex – Aw, Legendary, they're a'thinkin' they need the ol' hide to pass this deal of theirs, the Gang of Six proposal.

The Legendary – Break it down, Tex. Folks don't know just what it is.

Petro-Tex – Bubba, the Tax Man cometh. You and I know that's true, now. Let's not try to dodge the bullet...

The Legendary – Tex, don't mince words. Give it to us straight...

Petro-Tex – They gonna close the loopholes, some of them while people's necks are in the noose, hoss. That's how they're gonna raise revenues, now. Can't you see that?

The Legendary – What about cutting spending?

Petro-Tex – Cut what spending?

The Legendary – Well, they said something about Defense Department, you know, and...

Petro-Tex – (withdraws harmonica from the bib of his overalls, begins to play, “Beautiful Dreamer”) In a pig's – ah – in a pig's eye they gonna cut defense spending! They gonna pour on the coal when it comes to that. Uncle Sugar got a lot of enemies out there, bubba. Don't you know?

The Legendary – What about symbolic gestures?

Petro-Tex – (mimics man swinging from a noose, his eyes crossed, tongue protruding) I got your symbolic gestures, Legendary. A'swingin'. They gonna close those loopholes, which means, which means...

The Legendary – Audits?

Petro-Tex – More like Inquisitions, Legendary. Inquisitions!

At this point, his cell phone began to vibrate, and I beat it back to greater metropolitan Bosque County, dodging skunks and deer in the misty moonlight as the Bluesmobile sang a tune through its twin exhaust pipes in the key of Hemi, Hemi, Mo-Par- poof.

Yay-us. Roll on, y'all. Next up, a blast from the past from R. Crumb and The Cheap Suit Serenaders.