WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Tensions over the so-called fiscal cliff reached a boiling point today as House Speaker John Boehner accused President Obama of acting like he won the November election.
“Our message is clear: Mr. President, we are ready to negotiate with you,” Mr. Boehner told reporters. “But this nonsense of acting like you won the election has got to stop.”
Lashing out at Mr. Obama’s “delusional arrogance,” Mr. Boehner added, “I don’t know what planet he thinks he won an election on, but this whole ‘the American people elected me’ act is getting a little old.”
Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell echoed Mr. Boehner’s sentiments, stating, “The President’s budget proposal sounds like the ravings of a man who thinks he won fifty-one per cent of the popular vote and three hundred and thirty-two electoral votes. When he decides it’s finally time to return to Realityville, he knows where to find us.”
Killeen
- Citing an “appearance of bias,” the nation's highest military
court removed Col. Gregory Gross from the murder trial of Maj. Nidal
Hasan.
The
Court stopped short of ruling late Monday evening on whether the
Major should be required to shave his beard in order to stand trial
for the murder of 13 persons and wounding more than two dozen with a
powerful handgun.
The
command is responsible for the officer's grooming, not the judge,
according to the military appeals panel.
All
litigation regarding Army regulations and facial hair should begin anew
when a new judge is appointed.
Col.
Gross has cited the accused gunman with contempt of court 6 times and
had him removed to a remote trailer to watch proceedings on a closed
circuit television due to his defiance in the matter of his beard. Maj. Hasan says his Islamic faith requires him to affect a beard. He is a psychiatrist who was assigned to counsel combat veterans of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan regarding their war time experiences.
The
judges ruled that though the Religious Freedoms doctrine stops short
of allowing a defiance of Army grooming regulations, they are unclear
as to why the accused mass murderer cannot receive a fair trial with,
or without his beard.
Waco
– County Commissioners will likely close one of the strangest
chapters in local law enforcement history when they certify an audit
of the forfeiture fund account Tuesday.
Though
the 2011-2012 budget called for a set amount to guard the entrances
to the courthouse in order to keep guns, knives and handcuff keys
from being a threat at court proceedings, the actual amount paid to
outside police agencies to perform the task exceeded the budget
within the first three months.
At
the time, the Court scrambled around and transferred some money from
the medical budget to cover the shortfall.
Sheriff
Larry Lynch informed the Court, as prescribed by statute.
When
today's audit clears, the Sheriff's Department will have spent about
$12.5 thousand dollars in funds forfeited by defendants as
contraband. The figure includes no vehicles or boats, or other
property, according to the paperwork. The two other agencies that
could have shared in the forfeiture fund – the DA's office and the
long-defunct Agriplex Drug Task Force – had no participation in the
proceeds.
Where
did the money go?
Waco
and Hewitt Police officers made $30 per hour to guard the doors and
operate the magnetometers in clearing defendants, witnesses,
attorneys and visitors.
Even
though the County spend a little more than $1 million to refurbish
and furnish a new courtroom in the Annex building, the traffic had to
come into the building at the east door of the main courthouse,
ascend to the third floor, and cross a catwalk to the other building,
then descend in an elevator to the ground floor for jury selection
and pre-trial hearing dates held by visiting judges.
Every battle is won before it is fought. And it is won by choosing the field of terrain on which the fight will be engaged. - Nicolo Machiavelli, "The Art of War"
Waco
– According to information published by the establishment media
representative at Court, a certain spokesman for the community is
demanding an apology from the District Attorney.
Why?
A black female minister with a law degree claims a lead prosecutor in a capital murder case chose to explain to jurors
in vivid detail the differences between their community, where they live in white
neighborhoods, and the community in the black neighborhood of east
Waco.
Then
he showed the jurors a video made in remembrance of a young man cut
down by gunfire from a rival gang as he tended to his business in a
public park.
STARCH IT DOWN, FLAME IT UP
It
was for this reason, the prosecutor alleged, that a gun attack on
four other youthful members of the community took place a year later,
resulting in two deaths and the maiming of two others.
To
explain the business of The People of the State of Texas in this way
is “culturally and anthropologically ignorant,” according to the
news story.
RIP WILLY Tineo By Topdollah Icyy
That
may be true, but the strategy worked. The carefully picked jury
returned a guilty verdict, then meted out the punishment of death by
lethal injection, as requested by the prosecution team.
McLennan
County Criminal District Attorney Abel Reyna went on record saying
that he knows of no reason, no cause, nothing said or done for which he should
apologize.
Be
it remembered that the gangsters who sell drugs on our nation's
streets do not communicate in newspaper articles.
They
allow their ad agencies, the daily lap dog press and broadcast media, to do that for
them.
While
other members of the media are excluded from court proceedings, the
reporters for establishment newspapers and broadcast outlets stroll into the judges' chambers
and receive instructions on what, if anything, they are expected to
print.
Imagine
that.
The
gangsters don't do it that way.
They
use the cell phone, the text message, the gun – and the video - to
get their point across.
Like
most gangsters, they write very little, if anything, about their
business.
So
mote it be.
Here
are some dispatches from the drug wars, captured on video, for your
viewing pleasure.
Oh,
and if you're really on your toes, you might take the establishment's
best advice and drive completely around Waco and McLennan County when
you're out for a jaunt.
The McLennan County Courthouse during Reconstruction
By
The Legendary Jim Parks
They
removed a constable when they could have deferred to the voters.
They
gave voters elected officials they were not allowed to vote for.
They
prevented the person elected taking office.
They
refused to appoint the person elected by the people to fill the
vacancy.
They
made a job for the guy who the people fired at the polls.
Two
down, one to go! - Anonymous
When
Randall Scott Gates won a seat on the Precinct 6 Justice of the Peace
bench in the elections of 2006, he saw all his hard work and worn-out shoe leather go down the
drain to politics.
Mr.
Gates, a veteran peace officer with experience in narcotics, crime
scene investigation, and all around detective work, sat out his
elected term of office from 2006 until 2010. He also did a creditable
and credible job of chairing the board of the McLennan County Employees'
Credit Union.
But
he stayed busy. As a co-founder of the Waco Tea Party, he raised much
hell about the way good old boy politics nullifies the will of the
people, quashes their votes, overcharges them for what they get, and results in not much, if any law and order, peace and security.
Six
years later, three judges are gone from their offices – all of them
resigned – and the tax collector is doing time in a State Felony
Jail. They have been replaced by appointment of the Commissioners
Court.
Hmmm.
Reckon that's just how they do these things at Six Shooter Junction, or, that is,
Jerusalem-on-the-Brazos.
But
he's still a Scoutmaster, a member of the Moody Library Board, and a
social media journalist.
There
is a point to this rant.
Gates
is the only one of the 21 candidates for appointment who has actually
written probable cause affidavits for search of premises, and the
arrest of the actors upon whom he has developed information to
present to a Grand Jury and obtain a conviction.
As
Nicolo Machivelli once wrote, you should never do an injury to man
unless it is so devastating that he can never truly recover from it.
This
old boy is alive and kicking, meaner than ever, and raring to go.
He's got another bad habit. He just won't tolerate ceramics in the
dialect of high glaze. Tells it like it is.
I'm
just saying.
And
I can't wait for the vicious, the lame, the just plumb plug ugly and
ignorant to get started with their little rant.
You
all can be replaced, too, even if you are all named Anonymous and have
a lot of kinfolks. There is never a shortage of professional
mourners, y'unnastan'? Besides, Steve Munisteri and Ted Cruz got quoted in "The New Yorker" saying either the Republican Party goes for the Hispanic vote, or it becomes as much of a rump party, trumped like the GOP in California, as the Whigs became in their day. C'est la guerre... - The Legendary
The
names of the other applicants:
(According
to the Lib Trib, the people up at the Courthouse were having a very
busy day and just hadn't had time to gather the information on who
these folks really are. Uh, yeah, right.)
