Voter ID – It won't print the label!

Gadgetry of Voter ID new, hard to understand

Clifton – There are a handful of us there, no one of whom is less than 60 in this Constitutional election of 2011.

After all the hell raised about the Voter ID law, it turns out it's easier and much, much faster to just fill out the documentation by hand.

The Election Judge met me at the door. He wanted to know what precinct I'm in. I went for my voter registration card, since that's where they wrote it down – Precinct 9 – much to the annoyance of the crew.

We dont' need that card. We need the driver's license.

I'm tempted to ask where is the clutch, the horn, the brakes, the radio, the foot feed? Huh? Can I test drive this polling place to Kingdom come and return, just to see how it handles?

No matter.

I stay cool. I keep looking through my billfold. It's Precinct 9, after all. I get a sharp order from another official to produce my driver's license, which I give them.

Still wondering what kind of mileage this baby gets.

They “swipe” it, lo and behold, nothing happens.

“Who sold y'all those gadgets?” I ask. I am roundly ignored.

There is flutter, ruffled feathers. We all know the true hassle, here. I'm a Democrat. They are Republicans. Who knows, I might try to vote a bunch of illegal aliens.

They try a half dozen different things, then the lady says, “All right. Give me your voter registration card. It's going to be easier to just write it out by hand.”

She has hell getting the job done. The form is much, much smaller than those that were used before the automatic recognition label-making equipment came along after due huff and puff in the Legislature and dozens of political rallies put on by folks who are scared to death folks from Mexico will infiltrate their ranks and vote for candidates of whom they disapprove.

Her co-workers are still trying to figure out how to get the computerized label printer and computer hook-up on-line and working so they can past a label instead of having to write out my name.

I vote.

I vote against anything I have to read twice in order to understand it.

I don't want to amend the Texas Constitution based on something that is that hard to explain and understand in writing.

If it's that hard to tell it, you really don't understand it, folks.

I get ready to leave and put my ballot in the Opti-Scan. Do I want one of those “I voted” stickers?

No.

Why?

I already know I voted.

- The Legendary