Wednesday, August 1, 2012

LGBT Kiss-In protests at food courts nationwide

Direct action Wednesday plan is political

“One of these days, Alice. Pow. Right in the kisser.” - Ralph Cramden

And it came to pass that in the year A.D. 2012, members of gender-oriented political activist groups protested and mounted election campaigns to recognize same sex marriages in certain states.

These campaigns were financed in large part by cloud-borne cybernetic information systems managers such as Micro-Soft and, who had long ago learned that there are more than two genders in American culture.


They did it the old-fashioned way.

(Cue hateful old curmudgeon of a law school professor, scowling sidelong down his nose over crossed arms into the camera lens - with utter disdain)

They kept records on their preferences, tastes, clothing, literary, entertainment and travel purchases, managed the information flow on insurance claims, bank accounts, stock trades and pension plans, and othewise vigilantly pressed their cybernetic digits on the pulse points and pressure switches of the American sexual panorama - at least, amongst the portion of the public with disposable income and the wherewithal to spend it with the click of a mouse.

No leisurely strolls through the malls are necessary, they proved by their multi-billion dollar cash flow charts.

At last count, there are about 8 discernible genders, including the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgendered, onanistic, celibate, straight, and outright predatory, according to famed novelist and social critic Kurt Vonnegut, author of Slaughterhouse V, and other chronicles of Eliot Rosewater, Billy Pilgrim, and Kilgore Trout.

Each of these purchase clothing, jewelry, cars, homes, apartments, furniture, toys and other items that clearly indicate, at a glance, what they're into in public and private. No sweat.

The neoconservative, Tea Party influence backed by big business obtained a Supreme Court judgment in 2010 that held corporations are endowed with the same rights to freedom of expression as individuals, and should be allowed unlimited ability to advertise, sponsor, contribute, and otherwise spread their lucre throughout the political landscape.

Far be it from pundits and politicians alone to be allowed to express their outrage and their support of marriage as a one man, one woman institution.

The cyber-borgs and computer wonks got in the act and opposed fast food merchandisers like the Chick-Fil-A sandwich shops honcho in his opposition to offbeat unions of holy matrimony.

They are planning to hug and kiss their way through the noon hour at malls and merchandising emporiums in states with the same sex question on the ballot today.

Stand by, America. Hump day hath arrived.

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