“One
of these days, Alice. Pow. Right in the kisser.” - Ralph Cramden
And
it came to pass that in the year A.D. 2012, members of
gender-oriented political activist groups protested and mounted
election campaigns to recognize same sex marriages in certain states.
These
campaigns were financed in large part by cloud-borne cybernetic
information systems managers such as Micro-Soft and Amazon.com, who
had long ago learned that there are more than two genders in American
culture.
Selah.
They
did it the old-fashioned way.
(Cue
hateful old curmudgeon of a law school professor, scowling sidelong
down his nose over crossed arms into the camera lens - with utter
disdain)
They
kept records on their preferences, tastes, clothing, literary,
entertainment and travel purchases, managed the information flow on
insurance claims, bank accounts, stock trades and pension plans, and
othewise vigilantly pressed their cybernetic digits on the pulse
points and pressure switches of the American sexual panorama - at
least, amongst the portion of the public with disposable income and
the wherewithal to spend it with the click of a mouse.
No
leisurely strolls through the malls are necessary, they proved by
their multi-billion dollar cash flow charts.
At
last count, there are about 8 discernible genders, including the
lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgendered, onanistic, celibate, straight,
and outright predatory, according to famed novelist and social critic
Kurt Vonnegut, author of Slaughterhouse V, and other
chronicles of Eliot Rosewater, Billy Pilgrim, and Kilgore Trout.
Each
of these purchase clothing, jewelry, cars, homes, apartments,
furniture, toys and other items that clearly indicate, at a glance,
what they're into in public and private. No sweat.
The
neoconservative, Tea Party influence backed by big business obtained
a Supreme Court judgment in 2010 that held corporations are endowed
with the same rights to freedom of expression as individuals, and
should be allowed unlimited ability to advertise, sponsor,
contribute, and otherwise spread their lucre throughout the political
landscape.
Far
be it from pundits and politicians alone to be allowed to express
their outrage and their support of marriage as a one man, one woman
institution.
The
cyber-borgs and computer wonks got in the act and opposed fast food
merchandisers like the Chick-Fil-A sandwich shops honcho in his
opposition to offbeat unions of holy matrimony.
They
are planning to hug and kiss their way through the noon hour at malls
and merchandising emporiums in states with the same sex question on
the ballot today.
Stand
by, America. Hump day hath arrived.
No comments:
Post a Comment